Suck My Dick: Malaysia

friedpost.com

Suck My Dick
Malaysia
by Shannon O’Neill

Welcome once again to SUCK MY DICK. A weekly column letting the world know that I’m requesting some fellatio from someone or something that is pissing me off. I know, I don’t have a dick, but if needed I’ll step into a strap on and slowly wiggle a prosthetic dick into anyone and anything that pisses me off, and if it doesn’t have a mouth, well, I’ll figure it out. I’m resourceful.

Open up your mouth Malaysia, because my dick is headed straight towards it. Why? Well, the forward thrust of my dick is due to your homophobic decision to censor Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.”  You have forced radio stations to play an edited version that changed the lyrics “No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgender life, I’m on the right track, baby,” into jumbled unrecognizable garbage.  The year is 2011. Please get the fuck with it.  Homophobia is for the scum of the earth. Start recognizing LGBT rights!

Malaysia, I don’t want you to be the scum of the earth. You have some of the most diverse wildlife on the planet, so why not let your human population also be diverse. I mean, you don’t even allow your heterosexual citizens to get a nice legal dick suck. You punish anyone and everyone for getting blow jobs. Do you realize how stupid you sound?  Ugh, YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME!  Well then SUCK MY TOLERANT DICK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. HOW DOES THAT TASTE? OH YOU LIKE IT? WHY MALAYSIA, YOU LITTLE DEVIL, I THINK YOU LOVE THE TASTE OF MY DICK. MAKE DICK SUCKING LEGAL FOR EVERYONE AND YOU CAN HAVE MORE.

Join us for a party to celebrate the launch of TheGLOC.net on March 31st from 6-8pm at 92Y Tribeca (200 Hudson Street @ Canal)! Tickets: http://bit.ly/h4IfPF
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About spotastic

I am a writer/performer/teacher at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. If you are really curious, just google me or visit spotastic.com
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