SUCK MY DICK: MY OWN FARTS

Welcome once again to SUCK MY DICK. A weekly column letting the world know that I’m requesting some fellatio from someone or something that is pissing me off. I know, I don’t have a dick, but if needed I’ll step into a strap on and slowly wiggle a prosthetic dick into anyone and anything that pisses me off, and if it doesn’t have a mouth, well, I’ll figure it out. I’m resourceful.

My farts have been RIDICULOUS this week! I’m talking sleep-in-the-living-room gross. Hot stinky mess of air coming out of my butt. Even my dogs were staying a minimum of twenty feet away from my toilet hole.  I don’t know what is causing it! I didn’t eat anything weird, I’ve been my same slovenly self. Get it together butt-hole! Sorry to be so personal but I have to tell my own farts to SUCK MY DICK.  So fucking weird but necessary!

Join us for a party to celebrate the launch of TheGLOC.net on March 31st from 6-8pm at 92Y Tribeca (200 Hudson Street @ Canal)! Tickets: http://bit.ly/h4IfPF
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About spotastic

I am a writer/performer/teacher at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. If you are really curious, just google me or visit spotastic.com
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