I am not an adventurous person. I was never one for all night parties, sex without regret, and experimentation of anything illegal, mind-altering, or past it’s expiration date. All my life, I thought it was shameful to be so tame, but I’ve finally learned to embrace it. It’s who I am. So here I am. Liz Black, born to be mild.
I am pretty much a Wheel of Fortune savant. Ask anyone I’ve ever lived with or have spent a Monday through Saturday night at 7:30 p.m. with, I am a genius when it comes to solving Sajak’s Word Puzzles. I love the seven o’clock game show block because it’s comforting to me that it’s been on for so long. My family used to actually watch Jeopardy during dinner when I was in high school and I was obsessed with it. Was I SO obsessed that in level 3 Spanish class my sophomore year, I created a class project called ¡JEOPARDIA! with a full board of respuestas en la forma de una pregunta? (Google Translate it if you must.) Sí, I was that obsessed.
But Wheel Of Fortune is where I excel. I can easily solve puzzles with one or two letters on the board because for some reason, I’m good at putting that sort of thing together. Once you figure out one word within the puzzle, it’s just a matter of working out in your head what phrases that word is in. It is a skill that serves me in no other area of my life, but still, it makes me the hit of any party where Wheel-watching is going on. (Some party!) And sometimes it gets to the point where I want to strangle the person (i.e. Ms. Self-Potato) who can’t find the logic and reason required for the show.
It’s also a source of pride for me to say “I was there when that girl answered the puzzle that became an Internet sensation.” Yes, I was actually watching it (live!) when (on a Friday night!) (While I was actually ON VACATION!) (I am not kidding!) a contestant answered a seven-word phrase with only the following letter revealed:
“_ _’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ L_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.”
Ms. CAITLIN BURKE of New York, a woman after my own heart, correctly
guessed knew, through the power of deduction that the answer was “I’VE GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS.”
Later, in an interview with CBS that yes, I really did look up because this woman is my hero, Burke explained her methodology. (Not to me, I already KNOW the methodology. She was explaining it to the rest of y’all.) “Seven letters, that’s a phrase,” she said. “How many of those do you know that start with ‘I.’ I’ve had the time of my life. And for I’ll – ‘I’ll have what she’s’ — and that doesn’t fit. So you kind of go with those quickly. And ‘I’ve got a good feeling about this’ just came, and I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh. I’m going to solve this.'”
So yeah, me and the Wheel of Fortune girl. BFFs. In my dreams. Because no, I really don’t have bigger dreams than that.