SUCK MY DICK: GOP

Photo by Ari Scott

Welcome once again to SUCK MY DICK. A weekly column letting the world know that I’m requesting some fellatio from someone or something that is pissing me off. I know, I don’t have a dick, but if needed I’ll step into a strap on and slowly wiggle a prosthetic dick into anyone and anything that pisses me off, and if it doesn’t have a mouth, well, I’ll figure it out. I’m resourceful.

My Body is MY BODY, Your Brain is Stupid as Fuck
by Shannon O’Neill

For the past 24 years government funds have been made available to help pay for abortions in cases of rape, incest and life or death situations.  And now the GOP wants to put limits on this through their “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act.” Originally they tried to limit the funding to “Forcible Rape” only. Which in a nutshell filled with assholes is the GOP trying to redefine the word rape.  Hey idiots, you can’t redefine rape. That is like trying to say from now on The Special Olympics is only for Mentally Retarded people who are retarded.  Ugh! So Gross!

Thankfully somebody (We the smart people of the United States)  filled the GOP in on what a pile of dicks they are and they retracted the term “forcible rape” from the bill.

A small victory was achieved, but this the Bill still sucks a vultures cock. Amongst other restrictions these foolish fucks want to prevent women from paying for an abortion out of their health savings accounts. Ugh. Gross. To you the GOP I say, You are slabs of asshole skin, now pucker up so you can….

SUCK MY DICK, SPECIFICALLY REPRESENTATIVE CHRIS SMITH WHO IS THE LEAD BACKER OF THE BILL.

I’m sick of this shit. If you really want to tell me what I can and can’t do with my body  and dictate  how I’ll pay for it, or if you will even let me, then come to  my apartment and do it for me.

First , you can wipe my asshole clean, inside and out using coins from my piggy bank. Yup! I’m 34 years old and I have a fucking piggy bank.

Second, you can scrub my dirty heathen vagina with those $2 bills I’ve been saving for a special occasion that will never arrive.

Third,  SUCK MY DICK, NO CHARGE FOR THE GIANT PINK BALLS.

Sincerely,
Shannon O’Neill

Yum, that pink dick tastes goooooood!
Advertisements

About spotastic

I am a writer/performer/teacher at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. If you are really curious, just google me or visit spotastic.com
This entry was posted in Suck My Dick and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to SUCK MY DICK: GOP

  1. Butch Gunter says:

    Goddamn i like you,tell them fuckers to suck all our dicks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s