Tragedy Plus Time: I Believe I Can Fly

Tragedy Plus Time
by Kate Tellers

Kate Tellers (photo by Nadia Quinn)

As our nation lies paralyzed by snowflakes (again), thousands of travelers are finding themselves stranded in airports, sleeping on public floors and bloating their bodies with rounds of TGI Friday’s deep fried green beans.  It’s a miserable horrible thing to be stranded in an airport and no amount of intimate moments with the one hot TSA employee is going to change that.
After an incident in Munich in 2004 involving my sister, a stranger and a “last minute urlaub,” I entered into a year-long travel paralysis, where I was wholly unable to board flights on time.  I was hustling in New York to fly to see my family in Pittsburgh (black & gold REPRESENT) regularly and my outbound flight was always USair #334 departing from LGA at 930a on a Saturday.
Here is what happened every single time (in haiku):
Friday, 813a
IN BED
the sound of silence,
alarm clock fail.  not packed!
three shoes, two belts, egg.
Friday, 824a-910a
IN CAB (a prayer)
if I fly today,
next time I’ll- LOOK OUT!
THINK WE HIT A BIRD.
Friday, 916a
AT LGA
Sam, we meet again.
I want to crush your wing pin.
I can see my gate.
Friday, 922a
TO DAD ON PHONE (in two parts)
2 Live Crew is all
early Michael Bolton in
contrast to my rant.
“$%^ &**###@,
@#$%  $$%$ ##!
re-booked, see you soon.
Friday, 931a
IN TERMINAL
forgot book, now what?
I Can’t Believe It’s Yogurt
Sbarro, Chili’s, too.
Kate Tellers is a writer/performer/director/producer currently at work on the cabaret “I Sing Dead People,” “Disco Balls” (director) and on-going projects with The Moth.
Follow Kate on twitter @katadudle
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About Kate

Kate Tellers is a writer, director and performer whose recent projects include Gravid Water (actor) at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and the Charleston Comedy Festival premiere of Disco Balls (director). She sings with the band, Lavalier, and lives in Brooklyn where she's recently mastered the art of baking home made soft pretzels.
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2 Responses to Tragedy Plus Time: I Believe I Can Fly

  1. Jenifer says:

    2 Live Crew is all
    early Michael Bolton in
    contrast to my rant.

    GENIUS. I love you Kate Tellers!

  2. lizblack says:

    Anyone who can write a haiku referencing Michael Bolton and 2 Live Crew is worth getting to know, that’s what I always say.

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