Photo: LaughingSquid
Welcome once again to SUCK MY DICK. A weekly column letting the world know that I’m requesting some fellatio from someone or something that is pissing me off. I know, I don’t have a dick, but if needed I’ll step into a strap on and slowly wiggle a prosthetic dick into anyone and anything that pisses me off, and if it doesn’t have a mouth, well, I’ll figure it out. I’m resourceful.
I am beside myself. I am literally standing next to myself because I can’t believe that I (myself) live in country full of so many dicks. In mid-February the Islamic Circle of North America held a fund raising dinner to raise money for a women’s shelter and to help the homeless in Southern California. Unfortunately, while entering and exiting the fundraiser the members of the ICNA had to deal with a group of filthy, disgusting protesters. These protesters used their phobic mouths to shout things like “Terrorist,” and “Go Home.” REAL ORIGINAL, IDIOT PROTESTERS.
What is even more deplorable is the fact that ELECTED officials spoke at a protest rally supporting the hateful words and ideas. What is not deplorable is the fact that they will SUCK MY DICK.
For some reason Council Woman Deborah Pauly thought it would be appropriate to say “I know quite a few Marines who would be very happy to help these terrorists to an early meeting in paradise.” Guess what Deborah Pauly, I know a dick that would be very happy if you sucked on it. My dick. You can even wear your blue Talbot’s jacket while I press the tip of my dick against the back of your teeth.
Congressman Ed Royce thought he was the shit when he said “multiculturalism has paralyzed our society.” Hey Ed, how about I paralyze the back of your throat with my DICK. If the size of your head is an indication of strength than your lips should be able to grab onto my dick for hours. Let’s schedule a meeting between my dick and your mouth.
And good old Gary Miller, another congressman, supported the protesters by handing out flags and spitting hate telling the crowd that the group they were protesting was destroying our country. Hey GARY MILLER, the only thing that is going to be destroyed is your lower jaw when my dick breaks it off your face.
Now that the three of you have tasted my dick, can we agree to stop spreading hate and start spreading more videos of babies laughing at the sound of paper being torn up?
THANK YOU!!!!
Join us for a party to celebrate the launch of TheGLOC.net on March 31st from 6-8pm at 92Y Tribeca (200 Hudson Street @ Canal)! Tickets: http://bit.ly/h4IfPF
Spotastic, you’re quite something. This country needs more of your dick.